If Billings Bars Were Billings Guys
We all know that every town has its bars and those bars attract specific kinds of people. It’s not rude… It’s just true! There are so many different bars here in Billings so I had to enlist the help of some of my coworkers and I believe we have come up with pure gold. Let me know if we’ve missed the mark or if we are right on!
This bar is the guy you know is bad for you but those $5 drinks, though…. You know deep down that it isn’t going to work out but it could be really fun in the short term. He’s more work than fun after too much time so you have to limit how often you hang around. He is definitely the guy you SHOULD NOT bring home to your Mom. He also has a motorcycle, but no one’s judging.
His name is Dan. He just turned 40 years old but it might as well be 1993 when he helped take his team to the state championships for football. He’ll tell you about every play as if it were yesterday, if you let him. He is an expert on anything football now. Could probably tell you every roster and benched players. Oh, Dan also loves domestic beer. His preferred order is two, Budweiser Tall Boys, please because he can’t miss a single second of the big game!
This place is posh to the core and as is our lawyer friend, Blake. Did he go to Harvard Law School? Maybe but he isn’t pretentious enough to talk about it…although his drink choice is. You can catch him with a Vesper Martini or a Whiskey Old Fashioned. You’re going to have to make his crew fall in love with you too because Blake is never alone. His friendships run deep so you know his bros got his back. What does Blake do in his spare time? You can catch him in his smoking jacket having a good Cuban Cigar or traveling to Haiti to help the orphans. Again, he’s too good to be true but somehow isn’t! Smooth like 50 Shades of Grey but without that creepy ‘play’ room!
Meet Aaron. He’s an attention whore. He has a story to one up yours, always. Oh, you went on a sweet trip to Hawaii? Well, Aaron went swimming with the sharks in Australia for a month. Girls, if you like feeling like a princess…. Aaron ain’t it. He is a big fish in a very, very small pond. More like he is Golden Retriever puppy who thinks he is a Great Dane. He’s really cute, that’s no lie but after talking to him for 10 minutes you are texting your friend who sends the ‘come get me’ text to save you. (Side note, if you don’t have one of those friends, you should).
The name speaks for itself. Frat guy. We don’t know how far out of college he is but he definitely went to an in-state school like MSU. White Nike socks that hit just below the calf, slip on sandals or tennis shoes. Basketball shorts with the school on it and a collegiate crew neck sweater. I’m almost positive he is a high school coach of something and chances are the students love him. He’s a nice guy, don’t mistake that. But if you are looking for long term with no fairy tale ending then this might be guy for you. He’ll treat you right but might never be ready to pop the question later in life. Probably because he has slight brain damage from all the epic games of King’s Cup in college.
Lance. He’s big, burly and probably chews. He looks like he could star in Goldrush. Maybe lumberjack chic is the best way to describe his style? That red and black flannel is super sexy. You will catch his eye instantly if you’re his kind of girl. It might take him a few minutes to come talk to you but that’s because he is coming up with the right words to say. Hey, at least he’s approaching you! Go, Lance! Oh and because he’s a man, he grabs your tab and asks if you want to get out of there.
Trendy, hipster and boarder line yippie. Meet Troy. Craft beer is a hobby for him. Plus, he’s smart. He hangs out at a place that hold yoga classes… Girls in yoga pants. Smart, smart man. Plus, amazing beer comes with a food truck on Friday nights and there is nothing more hipster than a food truck at a brewery. Troy has incredible style but makes it look like he doesn’t try too hard. He has great hair and doesn’t have a beard but his facial hair is just a little scruffy. Troy likes dark beers and also does wood working on the side. He probably has a professional type job like engineer but that’s only between 8-5. Troy will fall in love with you if you let him! You might ask yourself, ‘how is this man still single?’