The Midnight Writer

People love candy: The average American spends $84 on and consumes about 23.9 pounds of the sweet stuff each year. With all that money and attention, you'd think it would be hard for a candy product to fail. Not true. Many candy products come and go without much notice. Here are 10 variations of popular candies that many people don't realize ever existed.

Ever frequent a restaurant just for the deserts? I'm talking about places more decadent than Friendly's and their Fribble. Sugar and Plumm is that kind of joint. Sure, the food is great too, but the deserts are like an outtake from Willy Wonka's wet dreams...

The Urban Shredder from Hot Wheels looks like every kid's moist dream and every parent's biggest nightmare.

Remember that one 'Calvin & Hobbes' strip when Calvin said something really funny in class but he was imagining himself in a war? Was it a war? Maybe he was in space. We just remember it had something to do with a book report.

Chess is a game played by intellects. Fine, morons play too, but you can spot those dudes based on the names they give the chess pieces. "Imma take my horsehead and get up all in your lady piece. Horse dong kid!"

Remember that time you got super drunk, duct taped couch cushions to your body and smashed into things around the house like a human pinball? You don't? Well you were super drunk so that doesn't shock us.

Made specifically for the hunter, tailgater, "on the train to work" chugger or just any old drunk uncle, the Enjoi Beer Hunter jacket helps lug around all those bottles and cans of beer.

We're not sure which part of this video gets us more excited -- the idea of screwing around in the wide open country on motorcycles or two adorable women playing tug of war on said motorcycles. It might be a little of both.

No, it's not Louis CK, but it might be the greatest mugshot we've ever seen.