84 Year-Old Gloria Mackenzie produced the winning ticket for the $590.5 Million Powerball Lottery drawing on May 18th. Mackenzie has opted to take the smaller lump sum award of $370.9 Million rather than take the larger prized doled out over 30 annual payments. Probably a wise decision.

(Writers embellishment) Soon she will find she's become strangely attractive to shapely men wearing speedo's with fishnet tank top's named Guido approaching her with clever lines such as "What up girl, you look goooood! You don't look a day over 69 to me".

I should probably stop writing stuff now.