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Thief Makes Off With Over $4,000 Worth of Spanx

Spanx
Spanx

A JCPenney in Vero Beach, Florida has been victimized by what the media is calling the Spanx Bandit.

While that moniker evokes images of a svelte thief who uses the body-shaping hosiery to slide into small places, the truth is even more insidious. This bandit, for which there is no current description of, made off with 100 Spanx along with their plastic hangers. The total cost of the criminal’s haul was $4,182.

The Spanx shortage that has resulted from the crime obviously poses a challenge to Vero Beach residents, who will inevitably eat too much this holiday season and need a little help getting into their Christmas dresses.

Will they be forced to buy their body shaping unmentionables on the Spanx black market, which is likely where the stolen goods ended up? Or will they simply use another retailer who sells the magical product? (A strategy that will only work if the Spanx Bandit doesn’t keep striking.)

Perhaps the Spanx Bandit and the threat of more banditry will encourage more moderate eating this holiday. season

We will stay on top of this most important of stories.

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