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Official Breakfast Flakes Guide for Surviving Montana’s Harsh Winter

Photo by Joseph Johnson/Getty Images

After braving our first snow of the year, Mark and Paul have a few tips for surviving the long, cold winter.

Rule #1:  No matter how icy the roads are, DO NOT Leave Early.  Whatever you do, don’t take those few extra minutes to insure the safety of your fellow commuters.  If you arrive at work late, don’t worry.  It’s not your fault, it’s clearly the city’s fault.  And if the boss gives you grief, just tell him that you had to drop your kids off at school and you can’t possibly be expected to get to work on time.

Rule #2.  Ignore any list of “cold weather tips”.  Today, the Red Cross posted a bunch of suggestions that absolutely nobody will follow.  There’s no need to assemble an emergency preparation kit; you probably already have at least 3 or 4 of those things and you can get ‘em if you need ‘em.  The Red Cross list also recommends keeping a full tank of gas.  The Flakes recommend you put some gas in the tank before it hits empty.  And don’t panic about your pets either.  They’ll be fine.  Use common sense.  You live in Montana, you know how to deal with winter weather.

Rule #3.  Quit complaining about the weather.  It’s not that bad.

Rule #4.  There is no rule #4.

 

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