10 New Year’s Resolutions You’ll NEVER Hear in Montana

Ah, Montana—where the winters are frosty, the summers are glorious, and our friends and neighbors are unapologetically unique. As the calendar flips to a new year, resolutions abound. But let’s be real: there are some promises a Montanan simply won’t make. Here are ten New Year’s resolutions you’ll never hear from a "real" Montanan.

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1. “I’ll trade my truck for a Prius.”

Let’s see how that hybrid climbs a mountain pass during a January blizzard or gets you to your favorite high-country camping spot in the summer.

2. “I’ll only drink fancy lattes.”

Coffee should be black, strong, and poured from a thermos in the middle of nowhere.

3. “I’ll stop talking about the weather.”

The weather is our small talk, breaking news, and daily drama all rolled into one.

4. “I’ll stop wearing boots everywhere.”

Boots are formalwear, casualwear, and sometimes swimwear in Montana.

5. “I’ll take up yoga instead of fly-fishing.”

Have you ever seen a trout in downward dog? No. No, you have not.

6. “I’ll stop calling out-of-staters ‘tourons.’”

Only when they stop trying to pet the fluffy cows.

7. “I’ll start eating kale chips instead of jerky.”

Not gonna happen.

8. “I’ll stop telling ‘back in my day’ stories.”

Back in our day, resolutions weren’t even a thing. And besides, we love talking about "how Montana used to be" far too much.

9. “I’ll stop complaining about California plates.”

No, we won't. Some traditions are sacred.

10. “I’ll move somewhere warmer.”

Montana: love it or leave it. We’re staying. Despite my grumbling every winter, it's tough to leave the Treasure State.

So here’s to 2025. May your coffee stay hot, your boots stay sturdy, and your resolutions stay... realistic.