Funerals are like those Lifetime movie marathons our women watch -- we hate them so much that a sturdy kick in the balls would be better than sitting through one. Unless of course said funeral is amped up with a couple of funeral strippers, in which case, awesome. Other than that, what else could possibly make such a depressing and sappy crap fest more bearable? How about not actually being dead?

Way down in Brazil, there lives a guy named Gilberto Araujo. Good name, we're already intrigued. This dude was recently taking a casual stroll on the streets of his town, when a buddy informed him that a wake was going on. His wake. The supposed-to-be-dead dude decided it'd probably be a good idea to clear up the minor confusion, so he headed over to his ceremony to scope things out.

When Gilberto arrived, people started freaking out. His mother explained the emotional outburst to reporters: "What mother who is told her son is dead is not going to be overjoyed when she sees her son is alive again?" Well lady, not to nitpick, but he was always alive. Also, you probably should've taken a quick peek inside the coffin to make sure it was your son who bit the dust, before the whole funeral thing went down.

But regardless, Gilberto's not dead! Bring on the strippers!


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