A Montana Gold Star Wife's Powerful Message, 20 Years Later

She married the love of her life. She was living in a beautiful farm house in Italy, while her husband was deployed to Afghanistan in 2005. That's when the doorbell rang, and the worst moment of her life took place.

Back on Memorial Day weekend, I told you about the loss of US Army Lt. Josh Hyland, an Army ROTC graduate from The University of Montana, and how the 20 year anniversary of his loss would soon be approaching. That day came this past Thursday.

His widow, Lanie Hyland, says she "started writing that morning and couldn’t finish what I wrote. Then I thought that maybe I wasn’t supposed to write anything, on the 20th anniversary of Josh’s death. It was hard to put words together this time."

She added, "I’ll miss Josh until the day I die. I miss him every day. And there is no one who could replace him. So, here is our story. 20 years ago, 21AUG2005. Rest in peace my love. I love you to your bones, and I like you more than shoes."

She then shared something she wrote back in 2014, describing the day she got the news of Josh's death.

From Lanie Hyland on May 26th, 2014:

It was a steamy, August afternoon in Bolzano Vicentino, Italy. The most beautiful place I have ever lived. Josh had been sent to Afghanistan shortly after we moved in to our awesome apartment in March. I loved being on that farm and thought how lucky I was to be living in such a wonderful place.

I was sitting in the living room, crocheting an afghan when the doorbell rang. I thought it was the local gypsies that usually came to sell their wares. I had made the mistake of buying some kitchen towels from one of them about a week before, so I asked Dylan to go see who was at the door and send them away. He went to the window on the third floor, our living quarters, and yelled back at me that it was Quincy and some other Army men in uniform.

I froze.

It took me a minute to think of what to do. My mind was racing, but I kept calm. I went to the window and saw Quincy (he and his wife Evie were two of our best friends) standing behind the Jeep and two or three men in uniform at the door. I asked him what was going on and he said calmly, “Lanie, open the door”. I said, “No, I don’t think so”. He said again, “Lanie, please open the door”. I again said, "No. I don't think I should." He repeated again and I reluctantly, with Dylan close behind, went down the stairs, trying so hard to not to fall down them..

Dylan asked me what was going on and all I could say was, it’s ok baby. Everything’s gonna be ok, stay here on the 1st floor landing.

I finally got to the door after what seemed like an eternity, with knees shaking and eyes welling with tears, I opened the door to see a young soldier with a somber look on his face. The following words will haunt me for the rest of my life and frequently reside in my dreams.

“Mrs. Hyland, I regret to inform you that your husband, 1st Lt. Joshua Hyland, was killed this morning by an improvised explosive device near Baylough, Afghanistan.......” and that’s all I heard. My ears began to ring and all I could do was scream NO over and again, at the top of my lungs. My legs gave out and I collapsed. Quincy and the men in uniform helped me up and walked me upstairs. Everything was a blur. I didn’t know where Dylan went. I didn’t know who the men were and I didn’t know what to say or do. All I know is the worst moment of my life had just taken place and our lives were completely changed. Forever.

So, on this long weekend of BBQ’s and hanging out with friends and family, take some time to think about the men and women who have given their lives serving our country, the men and women who are still serving, the survivors who live every day with injuries or are suffering from the traumas they have witnessed overseas and the surviving families of fallen soldiers.

I will always honor you all.

Thank you Lanie for sharing your story. We owe you a debt we can never repay for your sacrifice. May we all never forget.

By the way, coming up September 11th-13th in Missoula, The University of Montana is hosting a military alumni reunion. Several of Hyland's classmates are anticipated to be in attendance. A 9/11 Memorial ceremony will take place on campus on the afternoon of September 11th prior to the start of the alumni reunion.