Crimes Against Mark Wilson He Hasn’t Forgotten in Decades

Today I was going to start my article by dazzling you with some crime statistics. But I decided against it, partly because everything I Googled took me to stats on identity theft. And partly because I'm lazy. So I'm going to talk about crimes that have affected me. And like the old joke goes, 74% of statistics are made up on the spot.

In my mind, I have two categories of missing items of mine. Things that I just can't find. At one point I lost a wallet. Someplace there are a couple of my open-end wrenches that I've had to replace.

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Then there's my list of things that were stolen.

Like the awesome skateboard that I got for Christmas when I was 13. It had the big fat red urethane wheels and precision bearings. Extremely smooth to ride.

I had somebody cut the chain of my bike lock at the state fair one year. I don't know who brings bolt cutters to the fair. But I do know that they got a pretty cool ten-speed that my mom paid 99 bucks for at Sears.

But the one I got to thinking about is my Pocket Fisherman. I've never been much of a fisherman. But this little device wasn't very big to start with. Then it folded up so that it was only 8 or 9 inches long. It was manufactured by a company called Ronco. So I looked it up. And they still make them!

Your Pocket Fisherman comes with everything you need to go land a big one. It's got the fishing line, lure, swivel, weight, and hook.

Amazon Prime says that they can have one on my porch by Wednesday. Total cost is $30.65. I might even get two. One to keep in the pickup. And one for the 4-wheeler.