When Paul was reading first news stories this morning he had one about how our driver's education courses are in need of more teachers. This could lead to letting fifteen-year-olds to getting their temporary permits without having to take the class.

I thought briefly that this sounds like something that I could help teach kids. But after further thought, I have decided that I will only be teaching advanced driving techniques because that would be way more fun.

If you attend the Mark Wilson School For Performance Driving, we will require that you can already operate a manual transmission (or "a stick" as we say in Montana). We are a small company and can't afford to have you burning up clutches on your quest to be the next Richard Petty.

Some of our performance training will require you to use your own car. Make sure it has eight cylinders. We don't have time for the "Fast And Furious" nonsense. There is no replacement for "good old displacement" as granddaddy Wilson used to say.

Some of the classes that will be offered include, "It's the pedal on the right", "Everybody runs red lights", "Don't you dare turn the radio down unless you are the driver", and "Heel/toe technique for maximizing performance in turns because the straightaways are made for fast cars, but corners are made for fast drivers."

There will be in-class film study of "Smokey And The Bandit", "Bullitt", and "To Live And Die In L.A." Then, we'll compare why the chase scene in "To Live And Die" was by far the best ever filmed. Yes, the "Blues Brothers" wreck 103, then 104 cars in their movies, but the number of cars wrecked combined with the much more believable way it was done is more impressive in the original "Gone In 60 Seconds"--not the one with Nicholas Cage. That was slick Hollywood nonsense.

Not all of you will graduate from my school, but you will be better behind the wheel.

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