If I could have a house built for me, I would have several ideas for its design and function.

First and foremost, the yard will be small. In fact, I've got a friend who put in synthetic grass in his yard. I can't help but notice that he plays more golf than I do.

As long as we're dreaming and money isn't a factor, let's heat and air condition the six-car garage. My "Go-Rage" (as my dad always called it) will also have a kitchenette, shower, and the biggest TV that Costco can deliver to me. And one of the garage doors will be smaller for my General Lee golf cart.

It's only going to need three bedrooms, and one of those will actually be the office. An office with gigantic windows that look out at spectacular sunrises/sunsets. This will also be where my microphone will be for my old country music show that I plan on doing after my days here.

And it's going to have to be built on a hillside so I can build one of those rooftop party areas that seem to be so popular around the country. As long as we're up here, better build some benches for target shooting and predator control.

No locks will be installed so my friends know that they can stop by anytime.

And EVERY refrigerator in my house is a "beer fridge."

Am I missing anything?