Mark Imagines: The City of Billings and the Heights Get a Divorce…

Our Digital Diva who helps us with our articles, Rachel, asked me if I had heard anything about the Heights wanting to become their own, separate city. No longer under the control of anything to do with Billings.

She found people talking about it on Reddit in the Billings Community.

And as usual, I had not heard anything about it. But it did get me thinking. But instead of getting into the probabilities of this actually happening, let's assume that it will. Hypothetically, we treat it like a divorce.

Get our free mobile app

For instance, even though we're splitting up, the Heights is going to have to insist that we get Kings Hat. We just love their burgers too much. And if we split, Billings will have a disproportionate number of good restaurants. So we also get Rib & Chop, or Rio Sabinas. You'd better throw in Diamond X Beer Company because we don't have nearly enough places of that caliber in the Heights.

We're good on pizza but we are totally taking our Taco Treat back.

We're OK on car washes and ice cream joints. But we're going to need several car dealerships to make things fair. Billings, you decide which ones you want to give up.

We are all set financially with the number of places we can borrow money out of our way.

I guess we'd better rustle up some law enforcement, judges and probably ought to call S Bar S and have them throw up a courthouse real quick. And our courthouse will have metal detectors sponsored by a local radio morning show.

What else am I missing in our new little town?