Things That I Own That Are Probably Stolen

As I was walking down Montana Avenue this morning, I happened to look up and see something stuck to the back of this "No Parking From Here To Corner" sign.

The $250.00 fine I understand because you've got to do something to deter people from stealing all the street signs, but I thought that the threatened jail time was a tad excessive.

You get SIXTY days in jail for swiping one of these signs?! Well, not that I was planning on going on a sign-stealing spree, but this will definitely make me reconsider what I'm going to steal when I start my crime spree.

I've met the occasional person who has been in jail for drug possession, DUIs, and an occasional drunk and disorderly. But I've never run across a felon with "No Parking" sign-stealing on his rap sheet.

But then I got to thinking about what is in my possession at my house that might not rightfully belong to me.

There's an oscillating fan that an old friend forgot to take with her after she lived briefly at my place when she first got to town in 1989. But, since she hasn't called me in over thirty years, I think I can assume that she has replaced it by now.

The only thing that I can think of that I actually, intentionally stole was an A&W tray with the orange rubber liner on it. Back when I was in high school, A&W carhops would take your order over an intercom after you pushed a button. Then, a few minutes later, the carhop would bring out your meal on one of those trays, and hung it on your partially rolled down window.

As I recall, our meal took a very long time. Then, she never came back to get the tray. So after about a forty-five-minute wait, we confiscated that tray and I've had it ever since. Which is dumb because that means that I've moved that stupid thing from house to house with me for the last forty years.

I might have to find that thing and toss it out.