Exercise, Not a Chance. I Do Everything Possible Not to Partake

My job description is as follows. Scroll, click and look things up. Also, keep Paul from cussing. Really, that's about it. All of that bonus music stuff that I give out is just a bonus. You're welcome.

As I was scouring the internet this morning, I ran across an article in which a celebrity was talking about what he had to give up, due to his inability to stop drinking.

Get our free mobile app

Which made me think about what I had given up. My list starts with milk, pasta, and bread most of the time. (an occasional old-school cheeseburger still happens). When I thought about it, I've given up exercise. Seriously.

• It's well documented that I don't golf without a cart. Why would I?
• Mower? John Deere X-310. Seventeen point five horsepower with a cup holder. (The next mower will be more like a golf cart, where you can haul a six-pack around the yard)
• Most wouldn't consider rolling the trash can to the street., but I do. When I get home from work on Fridays, I just snag the can while still seated in the pickup and roll her back up to its spot.
• No more racquetball, softball, or walking. Been there. Done that.

I'm so lazy I once watched a television show that I didn't like because my remote control fell to the floor and took a bounce too far away to just lean over and pick up. I had just gotten my couch pillow and blanket situated just the way I like them. So now you know.