What? No Hellmann’s Mayo?

It was shaping up to be a holiday disaster.  One request.  Just one simple condiment request for that traditional turkey leftover sandwich.  Unfortunately, this is Montana, and Big Sky Country is not known for one thing...Hellmann's Mayo. 

My gal pal made the turkey trek all the way from Wisconsin.  How could I explain to her that despite my desperate search in multiple stores, I could not locate a single jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise?

How could this be?  This is 2011!  I can Skype and speak thru my PC to someone in China, and yet I can't purchase this mayo in Montana?

Now barbeque sauces are more my passion, and I have noticed "Saz's" sauce (out of Chicago) cannot be purchased in Billings.   Is this a conspiracy that my favorite condiments may have to change?  Ugh, a horrible thought there.

You can hold the mayo, but don't even think about messing with my addiction to barbeque sauces and grillin' out!